Give InKind is honored to feature Rachel Tenpenny, co-founder of Teamotions – teas to promote wellness.
Trust us. Those who love you WANT to help you in your time of need or crisis.
Most of us have been raised to be independent. We’ve been taught not to rely on other people too much, and to take care of ourselves.
We are taught not to burden others with things we could do on our own.
As we mature, we learn to rely on those closest to us in times of need (best friends, family members, spouses). We tend not to go too far outside that small circle. We fear that if we do we will be viewed as needy or burdensome. (It’s natural to be more comfortable with giving help than with accepting help).
In times of need or crisis, an overdeveloped sense of independence can sometimes become a liability.
It creates a fear of having to rely on others too much.
It prevents us asking for the help we really do need.
The truth is, times of need and crisis are exactly when we should ask for help. Without hesitation.
Here are three reasons that asking for help in a time of need is absolutely the right thing to do.
- Asking for help in a time of need is a strength, not a weakness.
It is ok to advocate for ourselves. Knowing what our emotional and physical limitations are as human beings is a sign of maturity and wisdom. We have nothing to prove by shouldering the entire burden. Accepting our limitations and reaching out for the help we need does not display our shortcomings. Instead, it reveals our determination to lean into our time of need – with a plan. Support can be the greatest factor in our emotional survival. Embrace your worthiness and ask for the help you need. Your friends and family will be inspired by your strength. They will be honored to help in any way they can.
- Asking for help isn’t just about you.
When we ask for help we are not just asking for our own sake, but also on behalf of our spouses and children. Though the help we seek is most likely practical in nature, it benefits our emotional health. It positively impacts the other people in our lives. Asking for help is one of the most powerful ways to love those who depend on you in your time of need.
- Asking for help blesses others.
The truth is, the people you “do" life with would love nothing more than to be helpful to you in your time of need. Too often, they stand back – waiting for you to give them permission to jump right in. They want you to ask for help. They struggle with fears and confusion too. They don’t want to be disrespectful of your privacy, or make assumptions about what you need. By asking for help as specifically as possible, you are empowering all the people in your life to show up. Giving them the opportunity to help you in your time of need blesses them as much as it does you.
Ask yourself: if the situation were reversed, wouldn’t you want the opportunity to help someone in their time of need?
That is exactly how the people in your life feel right now. Whatever it is you are facing, they want to help. Do let them.
You are not a burden.
You are giving them a gift.
When this season of need is over, you’ll have the opportunity to help others again. For now, let those who care about you help you. Be specific in your wishes.
Love your friends and family by letting them love you when you need it most.
Photograph courtesy of Rachel Crawford. Used with permission.
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