To Cove's Army: we are now needed to provide everlasting support and comfort to the Brennecke/Donley family. Right now, and in the foreseeable future, we will need to surround them with an abundance of support in many different ways. Food, donations, and kind messages are greatly appreciated. 

Please help in any way you can, and God bless you.

Loss of a Child

Grief/Loss

Dirk, Shy and Family

Brennecke Meal Train

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Good at over 25,000 locations nationwide, recipients can use their Spafinder gift card for a massage or facial, yoga or pilates classes, acupuncture or chiropractic, or over 25 total services. Encourage your loved one to take a break for themselves with a wellness gift card they can use anytime. Available in any denomination between $25 - $500.
Why We Love This Gift: This is one of those gifts perfect in just about any situation. New moms and those facing stressful pregnancies love a massage. When facing illness, those affected do too. To be frank, self-care is often the first casualty of any crisis. When people are incurring unexpected costs at an alarming rate, the first thing to go are the "luxuries." However, those who face highly stressful situations with long/uncertain outcome are precisely those who should practice aggressive self-care. They won't do it for themselves. You do it for them. Pamper them. Let them know you want them to take a break and that their well-being is a priority.
What to Express in Your Card: I hope you don't mind my sending you this gift certificate. There is no one I know more in need of a massage/facial/yoga class. I know you won't do it for yourself - so I wanted to do it for you. I am sending you love.

Spafinder Wellness 365&trade;

Target

Spafinder Wellness 365&trade; - SpaFinder Gift Card

Spreadsheet Download

Email

What is the best gift anytime? A Target eGift Card. With no fees and no expiration dates, the real question is: who couldn't use a gift card from Target?
Why We Love This Gift: Whether as a baby gift or to replenish supplies around the house, to cheer up a sick kid, or help someone with prescription costs, you can almost always find exactly what you need at Target. We love this gift because it enables your recipient with endless options and the ability to purchase precisely what they need - no questions asked.
What To Say In Your Card: I thought this might come in handy. I am sending you so much love!

Target - Target Gift Card

With your favorite restaurants at your fingertips, DoorDash satisfies your cravings and connects you with possibilities -- more time and energy for yourself and those you love.
Why We Love This Gift: In every situation, food is necessary. Let your recipient select exactly what they want to eat - and have it delivered. Win and Win.
What To Express in Your Card: I am thinking of you and I want you to eat something that appeals to you. You choose. xo

DoorDash

DoorDash - DoorDash Gift Card

The digital Visa gift card is another convenient option for supporting someone when they need it most. It allows the recipient to select their own essentials or gifts from a wide range of merchants. The card will be emailed to your recipient’s inbox and is for online or by phone use only. It’s a thoughtful way to show your support and let them know you’re there for them.
Why we love this gift: 
With ever-changing needs, this gift allows your loved one to purchase whatever they need, whenever they need it. The digital Visa gift card is a fast, easy way to put funds in your recipient’s hands. This gift card is all about giving them that flexibility and peace of mind.

Looking for a memorable gift that adapts to any situation?
The physical Visa gift card combines the practicality of a Visa credit card—usable both in-store and online—and the thoughtfulness of a greeting card. For just $5.95 and the cost of your chosen shipping method, we will print your custom Give InKind Visa gift card and personalized greeting card, and send directly to your loved one. The versatility and personal touch of this gift makes it no surprise this is our most gifted card.
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Why we love this gift:
<ul>
<li>Versatility: Needs can change quickly in challenging times. This all-purpose gift card allows your loved one to purchase precisely what they need, when they need it. Be it a comforting meal, a therapy session, spa treatment, fuel, diapers, or countless other possibilities. No questions asked.</li>
<li>Personalization: Add a heartfelt message to both the gift card itself and the greeting card. Pick your favorite among the many available greeting card designs to give your gift a personal touch. And for those urgent moments, you can always choose to have your gift shipped overnight.</li>
<li>Show you care: It’s the perfect way of letting a recipient know you are thinking of them, no matter how far away they may be. Whether it’s sending love after the birth of a new baby, some healthy vibes with a Get Well card, or even a simple ‘Thinking of You’ your gift can truly make a difference for a friend going through some intense times.</li>
</ul>

The Give InKind Custom Visa card is the perfect way to show your support during challenging times, or anytime you want to show you care. Whether you're sending love after the birth of a new baby, or sending good vibes during a difficult period, the Give InKind Custom Visa card is the perfect way to show your support.
This card is available with an optional greeting card, so you can add a personal touch to your gesture. And for those urgent moments, you can always choose to have your card shipped overnight.
The Give InKind Custom Visa card is more than just a card. It's a way to make a difference in the lives of those you love, and give them the support they need. Show your support today with the Give InKind Custom Visa card.
Additional charges will apply at checkout depending on delivery preferences. There are no additional charges for any digital cards sent via email.

Visa Gift Card

Visa Gift Card - Visa Gift Card

Visa Gift Card - Visa Digital Gift Card

This e-gift card allows access to all Walmart products. Useful for anyone anywhere.
Why We Love This Gift: We love this gift because it offers access to things like pharmacies when a family you love is in need. Many aspects of surgical care are not covered by insurance - these expenses can add up. This is especially true when a family is on a fixed income. Items like canes, walkers, surgical gauze, and more - can all be underwritten in this way. (Bonus: It respects, as well, the privacy and dignity of the person you love). Supplements that are doctor recommended (always check) can also be covered in this manner. Walmart also just has everything so for someone who has lost their job it enables them to get what they need without spelling it all out. People are proud.
What To Express in Your Card: You'd do exactly the same. xo

Walmart

Walmart - Walmart Gift Card

Amazon gift cards never expire and they carry no fees. Redeemable towards millions of items at Amazon.com and also certain affiliated websites. Deliverable electronically and instantly.
Why We Love This Gift: We love this gift because it's appropriate for any situation. Let your recipient choose just what they need, when they need it... with ease, convenience, and endless options.
What To Express In Your Card: I'm sending you my love.

Amazon.com

Amazon

Amazon.com - Amazon Gift Card

The beautiful practicality of her teaching has made Pema Chödrön one of the most beloved of contemporary American spiritual authors among Buddhists and non-Buddhists alike. A collection of talks she gave between 1987 and 1994, the book is a treasury of wisdom for going on living when we are overcome by pain and difficulties.
Much like Zen, Chödrön's interpretation of Tibetan Buddhism takes the form of a non-theistic spiritualism. In When Things Fall Apart, this head of a Tibetan monastery in Canada outlines some relevant and deceptively profound terms of Tibetan Buddhism that are germane to modern issues.
By letting go, we free ourselves to face fear and obstacles and offer ourselves unflinchingly to others. The graceful, conversational tone of Chödrön's writing gives the impression of sitting on a pillow across from her, listening to her everyday examples of Buddhist wisdom.
Why We Love This Gift: We love this gift because we have discovered that in times of crisis, we are sometimes open to concepts we would have struggled to embrace prior to crisis. This book beautifully expresses that finding truth and beauty within the darkest times is possible. (Even if we'd give it all back to return to the pace where our lost loved one is, or the place we were happy). Making sense of struggle and loss is a universal struggle. This book reminds us of this, showing us we are not alone.
What To Express in Your Card: I struggled to find something that would help you. Something that would match the level of pain you are in and then salve it. Of course I couldn't do that, but I hoped that Chödrön could succeed where I know I will fail. Please accept this book along with my love.

When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times

In reading this memoir those who love a man coping with pregnancy loss and infant death will come to better understand the male experience with this kind of grief.
When Dan, a writer with a passion for underground comics, and his wife Bekah, a potter dedicated to traditional Japanese ceramics, met through a mutual friend, they swiftly fell in love. "Of all the women I've ever met," Dan told a friend, "she's the first one who felt like family." But at Christmas, as they prepared for the birth of their first child, tragedy struck.
Based on Daniel Raeburn's acclaimed New Yorker essay, Vessels: A Love Story is the story of how he and Bekah clashed and clung to each other through a series of unsuccessful pregnancies before finally, joyfully, becoming parents. In prose as handsomely unadorned as his wife's pottery, Raeburn recounts a marriage cemented by the same events that nearly broke it.
Vessels is an unflinching, enormously moving account of intimacy, endurance, and love. These qualities make it a top pick of the editorial staff at Give InKind.
Why We Love This Gift: We love this gift because it perfectly describes the experience of grief men feel after baby loss. When people better understand the experience of fathers in loss, they will be better able to provide support. This is good for men. It is good for women. It is good for families.
What To Express in Your Card: I read that this book is a work of art. It may or may not resonate with you. I don't know how you feel, but the point is I'd like to hear from you about just that. I am thinking of you. Maybe we can meet for coffee? I'll text you later to see what your schedule looks like.
Possible Triggers: This book touches on a theme of loss, but also a baby born healthy after loss. For the parent who may not yet be ready to go there, or who is unable to attempt pregnancy again, consideration may be key.

Vessels: A Love Story

Brinker International is one of the world's leading casual dining restaurant companies. With more than 1,600 restaurants and over 100,000 Team Members in 31 countries and two territories, they welcome more than one million Guests into Chili's and Maggiano's restaurants every day.
Why We Love This Gift: Brinker International is driven by integrity, teamwork, and passion - plus an unwavering commitment for every Guest to have an exceptional dining experience when visiting. For a family in need of a break at one of their favorite restaurants, this is the perfect gift.
What To Express In Your Card: Sending a gift I know you will love. Please, call me anytime.

Brinker International

Brinker International is one of the world&#8217;s leading casual dining restaurant companies. With more than 1,600 restaurants and over 100,000 Team Members in 31 countries and two territories, they welcome more than one million Guests into Chili&#8217;s and Maggiano&#8217;s restaurants every day.

Brinker International - Brinker International (Chili's & Maggiano's) Gift Card

From fresh hand-prepared salads to mouthwatering burgers, Chili's kicks up the flavor with food that is anything but ordinary.
Why We Love This Gift: Burgers. Ribs. Fajitas - what's not to love about fresh Tex Mex flavors?
What To Express In Your Card: Sending a gift I know you will love. Please, call me anytime.

Chili's

From fresh hand-prepared salads to mouthwatering burgers, Chili&#8217;s kicks up the flavor with food that is anything but ordinary.

Chili's - Chili's Gift Card

In It's OK That You're Not OK, Megan Devine offers a unique guide through an experience we all must face - in our personal lives, in the lives of those we love, and in the wider world. This is a book for grieving people, those who love them, and all those seeking to love themselves―and each other―better.
In this compelling and heartfelt book, you'll learn:
• Why well-meaning advice, therapy, and spiritual wisdom so often end up making it harder for people in grief 
• How challenging the myths of grief―doing away with stages, timetables, and unrealistic ideals about how grief should unfold―allows us to accept grief as a mystery to be honored instead of a problem to solve 
• Practical guidance for managing stress, improving sleep, and decreasing anxiety without trying to "fix" your pain 
• How to help the people you love―with essays to teach us the best skills, checklists, and suggestions for supporting and comforting others through the grieving process.
Why We Love This Gift: Megan offers a profound new approach to both the experience of grief and the way we try to help others who have endured tragedy. Having experienced grief from both sides―as both a therapist and as a woman who witnessed the accidental drowning of her beloved partner―Megan writes with deep insight about the unspoken truths of loss, love, and healing. She debunks the culturally prescribed goal of returning to a normal, "happy" life, replacing it with a far healthier middle path, one that invites us to build a life alongside grief rather than seeking to overcome it.
What To Express in Your Card: I hope this book reminds you that what you are feeling right now is normal and healthy- no matter how terrible or overwhelming. Please remind yourself of your strength. Sending you so much love.

It's Ok That You're Not Ok

There is no right or wrong way to grieve; this book reminds us that each person's response to loss will be unique. Mourning the death of a loved one is a process all of us will go through at one time or another - but whether the death is sudden or anticipated - few of us are prepared for it or for the grief it brings.
How To Go On Living When Someone You Love Dies is a compassionate, comprehensive guide written by bereavement specialist and author, Therese A. Rando, Ph.D. Her thoughtful account gently leads you through the painful but necessary process of grieving and helps you find the most positive way for yourself to do so.
Whether the death was sudden or expected, from accident, illness, suicide, homicide, or natural causes, Dr. Rando will help you learn  to:
Understand and resolve your grief. 
Talk to children about death. 
Resolve unfinished business. 
Take care of yourself. 
Accept the help and support of others. 
Get through  holidays and other difficult times of the year. 
Plan funerals and personal bereavement rituals.
Why We Love This Gift: There is no way around the pain of loss, but there is a way through it. This book offers the solace, comfort, and guidance to help you accept your loss and move into your new life without forgetting your treasured past.
What To Express In Your Card: I am a bit at a loss for words right now. The profundity of death is hard to address. I love you, and I am here whenever and however you need me.

How To Go On Living When Someone You Love Dies

Express your condolences with Mrs. Fields' selection of sympathy gifts and cookies. Each of our sympathy gift baskets are prepared and delivered fresh, with attention to every detail. Customize the attached tag or ribbon with the message of your choice.
Why We Love This Gift: We love this gift because things to offer visitors after a loss come in handy. Meals are often delivered for a grieving family. Nevertheless, for those who visit but won't stay it is helpful to the bereaved to have things on hand to offer. Cookies are good for that.
What To Say in Your Card: My condolences. I wanted to send you a little something good to eat or something to offer the throngs of people moving through your house because they love you so much.

Mrs. Fields: Sympathy Cookie Gifts

Mrs. Fields

Cabela's is the one-stop-shop for outstanding outdoor gear. Send your favorite outdoors person some new gear.
Why We Love This Gift: We love this gift because it enables recipients to enjoy the great outdoors. Give InKind expert military contributors have suggested that outdoor gear can help returning servicemen and women cope with post-traumatic stress. (Fly fishing is a particular favorite). For newly sober people, outside activities retrain neurological response to stimuli. Getting outside and being physical is helpful to supporting long term recovery. For those recuperating from illness or surgery, exercise can help a lot.
What To Express in Your Card: I am thinking of you.

Cabela's

Cabela's - Cabela's Gift Card

This book explains a fundamental difference between grief and mourning. It explores the importance of acknowledging death and embracing the pain of loss.
Why We Love This Gift: At Give InKind we try to find the ways to support those who are in the throes of grief. Providing information and a conduit for feelings lead the way to complex integration and peace. We are saying that respectfully - we have been there.
What To Express in Your Card: I am sending you lots of love. Are you able to meet for coffee next week?

Understanding Your Grief: Ten Essential Touchstones for Finding Hope and Healing Your Heart

Each year about eight million Americans suffer the death of someone close to them. Authors Brook Noel and Pamela D. Blair, Ph.D. explore sudden death and offers a comforting hand to hold for those who are grieving the sudden death of a loved one. Featured on ABC World News, Fox and Friends and others, I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye covers such difficult topics as the first few weeks, suicide, death of a child, children and grief, funerals and rituals, physical effects, homicide and depression. New material covers the unique circumstances of loss, men and women's grieving styles, religion and faith, myths and misunderstandings.
Why We Love This Gift: We love gifts that facilitate communication.
What To Express in Your Card: I was wondering how you were coping. I wanted to let you know that when you want to talk I would dearly love to listen. Thinking of you constantly.
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I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye: Surviving, Coping &amp; Healing After the Sudden Death of a Loved One

After the death of her son Dan, Kathy Eldon and her daughter Amy created a special book dedicated to all he meant to them. Angel Catcher, a guided journal for people who have lost someone close, gives to others what Kathy and Amy discovered during the years after Dan's death. Its pages are filled with beautiful quotations and original art, but mostly it offers space--to record memories, paste photographs, or draw reminders of the loved one.  Over the past decade, this classic work has helped thousands find meaningful ways to overcome the despair of losing a loved one. Featuring brand new illustrations,  the pages of this journal guide the user through the process of mourning and onward to a lasting sense of peace in the face of loss.
Why We Love This Gift: We love this gift because the process of integrating grief necessarily begins from within. Finding and creating a safe space to do that is a beautiful gift. (And a painful one). We understand. We have been there.
What To Express in Your Card: I am thinking so much about you. If you would ever agree, I would love to see some of what you have saved here. Or, I'd love just to listen. I am sending much love.

Angel Catcher: A Journal of Loss and Remembrance

A companion to Healing After Loss, the wise and timeless bereavement companion that has helped thousands cope with grief since 1994, this page-a-day journal guides people through grief.
Why We Love This Gift: We love this gift because we believe that quiet reflection is a useful way to learn to sit with grief. This is offered respectfully. We have been there. We know that it is so hard.
What To Express in Your Card: May I come and meditate with you sometime? Or, if that is too much and too personal, is there anything you would like to talk about? I am here to listen.

Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations For Working Through Grief

Join your neighbors at Applebee's for delicious food, friendly service, and a hometown atmosphere that cannot be beat. From American classics like Applebee's House Sirloin to signature dishes like their Fiesta Lime Chicken, Applebee's is the go-to place for great food and good times.
Why We Love This Gift: Applebee's is suitable for any occasion. Situations in which a meal is a good choice include military spouses coping with a deployed spouse. Buy them a meal to let them know you are thinking of them. Or, those who have lost a loved one may sometimes permit themselves a little comfort and companionship. In such a circumstance, a meal shared is a true and lasting kindness. If the deceased was a breadwinner, the bereaved may be watching the wallet. Enable this person you love to grab a meal - wherever s/he is.
What To Express in Your Card: I am thinking of you.

Applebee's&reg;

Applebee's&reg; - Applebee's® Gift Card

While Amazon no longer offers the ability to gift a Prime Membership directly, you can use an Amazon gift card to purchase a Prime Membership.
Prime members enjoy:
<ul>
<li>Free Two-Day Shipping on millions of items.</li>
<li>Unlimited, ad-free access to over a million songs and thousands of playlists and stations with Prime Music.</li>
<li>Instant streaming of thousands of movies and TV shows with Prime Video.</li>
<li>Free unlimited photo storage in Amazon Cloud Drive.</li>
<li>Read free books each month through Kindle First and the Kindle Lending Library.</li>
</ul>
Why We Love This Gift: We love this gift because it offers the convenience of access to Amazon. Shipping options for products are easy. Access to media and information is included. For busy people in any situation, this can only be a good thing.
What to Express in Your Card: I know you have a lot on your plate right now. I wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you. I want to find ways to be helpful. I am listening.

Amazon Prime - Gift Membership

On the morning of February 6, 1991, Dennis Apple discovered the lifeless body of his son on their family room couch.
Eighteen-year-old Denny had died without warning from what was later explained as complications due to Mononucleosis. Sixteen years later, Dennis still struggles with living in a world without his son.
Life After the Death of My Son shares a glimpse of the unspeakable pain, helplessness, frustration, and eventual healing that Dennis and his wife, Buelah, have experienced since losing their son. Using excerpts from his journal which he began the day after Denny died, Dennis explores the dark, lonely road of grieving for a child.
With understanding and compassion, Dennis offers grieving parents insight from 10 lessons he’s learnedand continues to learn. His gentle words and honest understanding will guide those with grieving hearts on their difficult journey.
Why We Love This Gift: We love this gift because it is important to express the depth of grief in certain inexplicable journeys. The sharing of the pain can lead others through, too. Research shows that those who find meaning in loss are better able to arrive at a complex peace.
What To Express in Your Card: I am thinking of you constantly.

Life After the Death of My Son: What I'm Learning

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General Support

Setting up a food train is one of the best ways to help support someone you love. Here are some tips on how to give groceries as a gift.

How to Give Groceries as a Gift for a Meal Train

How to Give Groceries as a Gift for a Meal Train - Give InKind

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Julie Bindeman

Talking about death is hard. Talking about out-of-order death is harder. Visit Give InKind for articles, information, and a new way to schedule meals in times of need.

How to Talk to a Grieving Parent

You said the wrong thing. Reach out again and say the right thing. Visit Give InKind for ideas and concrete ways to lend assistance to those in need.

flowers

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tulip bouquets

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Tara Shafer

Consider what you want to convey in your gift of flowers. Here are some considerations in making a selection. Visit Give InKind for information, articles, and a new way to schedule food and support to those in times of need.

What Flowers Express: In Illness & In Grief

Consider what you wish to express in your selection. Visit Give InKind for ideas, information, and a new way to schedule meals in times of need.

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