**** POSITIVITY **** AWARENESS SELF CHECK NOTHING IS EMBARASSING ABOUT THIS I start this by saying I FEEL GREAT! My bloodwork run has been perfect! From all perspectives I am healthy, yet I have been diagnosed with Anal Cancer. Let me state that there is colon cancer in my family. I have had 3 colonoscopies since I was 47. My last one in Feb, 2023. It was clear. That doctor wrote on my report, return in 5 years. I have changed doctors. Note: Colorectal Cancer and Anal Cancer are different (graphic description) In August, I thought I had a hemorroid, a little bleeding when wiping. I have had them before. The change I made that day, I removed nuts from my diet and added more fiber. On and off for the next 2 months, every week for a few days, I had a little bleeding. I was not experiencing pain. I was not losing weight (I was trying without success), no constipation, no fever, no chills, no bleeding in my stool, no change in shape of it. The bleeding increased more often and longer. I could not feel or see anything on the outside of my body. October, I was at work and I realized it was very uncomfortable to sit, more pressure on my bottom then I had before. That symptom continued and then mid October on a Sunday night, I went to shower and I was bleeding out and didn’t feel anything. It was like my anus was dilated. I showered and I was self checking down along my tailbone and I found a hard growth that hurt when I pressed it. I asked Chris to take a look. After 35 years, my husband has seen it all, he looked at my like I was crazy. He didn’t look. Work and my business have been crazy busy. Life has been busy. STOP, I have to get this looked at. I Googled for a female gastroenterologist near 60048. On Tuesday, 10/22 I called. The doctor didn’t have an appts available but I could have an appt with a PA, the next day, Wed at 1 pm in Skokie. Yes, I will be there. Driving to the appt, all I kept thinking was this is nothing, I’m wasting their time. WRONG!!! The PA did a full history and then an internal check. What I heard her say “I don’t need to go any further, you need an emergent biopsy. There is a mass and a tumor.” I was in shock. Did I wait too long to come in. I had a colonoscopy 18 months ago. What the hell! I was given the clear to go away for the weekend with an appt for a biopsy on 10/31. I had a pre-op physical on Thursday before we left. The physical, EKG and blood work were all perfect. I ended up at the ER while away for the weekend. I started bleeding and could not get it to stop all day. I was messaging back and forth with my team of North Shore nurses. Do you have a fever, do you have chills, are you lightheaded …. NO I FEEL GREAT. I walked into the ER in Minnesota. They got me right in. Again, I have embarrassment, am I wasting their time because it stopped bleeding when I was there on its own. They ran blood work. The doctor came to talk to us. Your blood work is great. You can lose a lot of blood before you will feel lightheaded. You can go back to the hotel, you can stay here and we will rerun bloodwork in 4 hours or you can stay here for the night. We opted to go back to the hotel. I didn’t bleed again until the biopsy on 10/31. Why do I write this. It is amazing, it messes with your head. Am I sick, do I have something wrong or am I ok. Get Checked. Results were back on Saturday, Anal Canal Mass – Squamous Cell Carcinoma. My 1st appt with the oncologist is Monday 11/11. The waiting is the hardest part. I want it out and I want to move on with life. I have been told I have to follow the process. The mass must be reduced before it can be removed. More tests have to be done before treatment begins. I will beat this because I am STRONG. I have a VILLAGE of support to keep me positive and laughing to keep my spirits in good place. I will be a VOICE for this CANCER.